My Hero
by Fiore-Silver45-24
Summary: New girl. She's psycho. And that's a total turn-on. But Kyle can't have her if she's being stalked, can he? He's going to have to resolve this, and it's going to take some wannabe superheros to do it. KyleXOC FanboyXOC God, I'm sick in the head.
1. Chapter 1

"Mama! I'm headin' out!" Jade hollered over her shoulder. An orange and green backpack was tossed out after her.

"Not without that, you're not!" her mother shouted back, hand over the reciever of her phone. Jade caught the bag deftly in one hand, shouldering it.

"Love ya, Mama!" she yelled, already halfway down the driveway. She walked past two houses and came to an abrupt halt at the end of a curvy driveway. One second. Two. A disheveled brunette dashed out of the house at the other end of the driveway, chomping on a protein bar. Jade's best friend, Harley Maroy. Harley was at least three inches taller than Jade, and had dark brown hair and deep green eyes, compared to Jade's auburn, orange-and-purple streaked hair and chocolate brown eyes. Harley's tanned skin was accented by the vibrant clothing she wore, hot pink and neon blue. Meaning dark blue jeans, a bright blue shirt, a bright blue headband, hot pink converse (high tops, of course) and an assortment of jewelry, including three multicolored studs in each ear. Jade was on the darker side of the spectrum, happier with warmer tones, like her dark orange tank top, black jean jacket, black skinny jeans, orange converse (again, high tops) and had her black pixie bob framing her face. She wore only a white watch and hoop earrings, not counting an orange, wooden ring with a gold pattern embedded into it. Jade made a face at her taller Latina friend.

"Barf. How do you eat that crap?" Jade said, holding a finger to her lips and puffing out her cheeks, faking heaves. Harley stuck her tongue out at Jade, swallowing her breakfast.

"It's all natural, it's good for you, and it only has half a calorie," Harley explained. Jade shook her head, exasperated.

"You are as skinny as a twig. A TWIG, Harley," Jade emphasized. Harley didn't believe her. She was fifteen pounds heavier than her short, slight friend. She was, in fact, underweight for her age and height. That's why Jade kept force feeding her ice cream and slipping one or two cups of sugar into her already sweet tea. Jade, too, was skinny, though by far more muscular. Her secret: eat a whole box of doughnuts, then work it off in the gym. You build up muscle, and don't gain a pound. She wasn't by any means buff, but she wouldn't wave in the wind like her friend. Harley tossed the wrapper in a nearby recycling bin. Jade rolled her eyes. Harley shuddered, stomping her feet as they walked to their new school.

"It's freaking freezing up here! I wanna go home! It's warm and pleasant this time of year in south Georgia!" Harley complained. Jade felt an ache in her chest.

"Pft. I wanna go home too, but we both know that ain't gonna happen," Jade grumbled, handing her jacket over to her shivering bestie. In return, Harley plucked Jade's iPod out and plugged an orange headphone in her bestie's ear. Jade walked and nodded her head to the beat, grateful that Harley wasn't too much taller than her so they could walk together. Harley, a pop princess, scoffed at Jade's rock, metal, gothic, dance, techno, country, and classical. She shuffled through the pop playlist, abruptly changing the song from "Haunted" to "Blah, Blah, Blah". Jade rolled her eyes. Damn. Harley waved her hands over her head singing, elbowing Jade in the ribs when she kept walking silently. Jade just rolled her eyes. Harley paused mid-chorus, nudging her friend to the side.

"Chillax, Witch Girl. It's just Kesha. I'll change it if you want," Harley said, addressing Jade, who glared up at her, smirking. Witch Girl.

"Dark music, dark clothes. It's not witchcraft. I just like the stuff, ya know? Besides, the song ain't botherin' me, Supergirl. I'm fine, just tired," Jade responded. Only Harley could call her Witch Girl. Ever since she had been seen wearing black in the middle of August, rocking out to goth-metal, mixing stuff in the science lab that frothed and turned green, she had been labeled "Witch Girl". That's why they had to move. That, and the fact that a boy had taken Jade's rejection too hard and stalked her around the school, leaving love notes and explicit poetry in her locker, throwing pebbles at her window, texting her, finding her new number, texting her again, calling her house, e-mailing her, tracking her on Twitter and Facebook, confronting her in the school hallways and pretty much trying to rape her. Jade felt bile in her throat just thinking about it. Meanwhile, Harley was called "Supergirl" because of her various attempts to be a super girl. Have you ever tried jumping off of your roof with balloons attached, or with an umbrella? That was Harley. Ever tried staking out your neighborhood, looking for bad guys and getting arrested for trespassing? Harley. Have you ever been a super hero for Halloween for ten years straight? Harley. Now that she was sixteen, she had outgrown most of the little kid stuff, though Jade knew she still made a superhero costume every year, though she only wore it to hand out candy to kids. At least she had stopped singing a themesong every time she entered a room. Jade kicked a rock and wished her parents had sprung for a used car rather than a fancy house. There was a house in the same neighborhood that cost about thirty thousand less than the one they bought. But, oh well. First thing to do, find their new high school. Second thing, get a job, preferably one with Harley right beside her. Jade cast a glance at the autumn tinted trees, loving their oranges and reds, and wondered where their school was even supposed to be. A bus roared past the girls, and Harley, startled, yanked the headphone out of her right ear. Jade laughed.

"You're a doof," she giggled. Harley glared down at her.

"You're a tard. You're standing here insulting me when there's a bus with South Shore Highschool on it driving away!" Jade glanced in front of her, but the bus had turned a corner.

"Dammit," Jade grumbled, stuffing her iPod into her jacket pocket and snatching it off of her friend.

"Hey!" Harley protested. Jade shut her up by shoving her forward, towards the direction the bus had disappeared. Harley, though skinny, was pretty athletic when she wanted to be, and took off running, Jade scrambling after her longer strides. They caught a glimpse of the bus and followed it on its route, an exhausting task. Only when their lungs were on fire did the bus turn into a parking lot and open its doors. Jade and Harley wasted no time in scurrying indoors, making for the bathroom.

Jade's bob stuck out like a depressed afro, and she snatched a comb from Harley, who was trying to tie up her hair in a ribbon. When her bob had successfully deflated and was curled and frayed to perfection, she brushed Harley's hair for her, making up for taking the comb from her. She kept the hairbow on her wrist, however, insisting that Harley's hair looked so much better to the side, on her right shoulder. Jade, though small, was faster than Harley, and avoided her grasps at the hairbow until Harley gave up and mopped her face with a paper towel. Jade fixed her lipstick, glad she had thought to bring it with her. Spritzing themselves with Harley's sea island cotton perfume, they heard the school bell ring and an insane amount of stomping and shouting coming their way.

"Blend in," Jade said, back against the wall, waiting for the crowd. She hated getting stared at. Unless she _wanted_ to get stared at. From what she had seen, all the kids here were preps, and wouldn't take too kindly to her emo look. Harley had no such quams, and walked out right in front of everyone, motioning for Jade to follow. Great. Now Jade would look like a scared little baby that needed her friend's encouragement to come out of the bathroom. Jade barely fell into step behind her dark-skinned friend before a tidal wave of people hit them, ushering them towards the junior hall. Jade swallowed, a little anxious. Tenth grade was sort of a big deal. Only if you just came form ninth grade, she reasoned. Harley yanked her to the left, dragging her into a classroom just as the hall-clearing bell rang. Jade stole a glance at the hall. Completely, utterly empty. A tumbleweed rolling through the hall would not have looked out of place.

"Good lawd," Jade mumbled. She was instantly silenced by a poke in the arm from Harley. A thin, pointy woman rose from her desk at the front of the room, her thin, pointy stilletos clacking lightly as she quietly closed the door behind the two girls with her thin, pointy nails. Her scarlet and gray ensemble and beak-like nose reminded Jade of a wild turkey. A wild, pissed off turkey. She had a gray jacket over a scarlet blouse, and a gray pencil skirt. Her gray hair was piled on top of her head in a bun, a pencil stuck in it. In her bony hands she held a meterstick. For measuring. Pointing. Whacking. Jade raised an eyebrow, standing a little straighter. Best to look brave in the face of adversity. And ugly-ness. And boy, did this lady take the prize. Jade saw a diamond ring on her left ring finger. Her husband must be dead. Or blind. Or very, very sad. Maybe he wasn't even a dude. The woman regarded Jade's outfit scornfully.

"Feh," she sniffed, nose in the air. Librarian from Hell. She leaned close to the girls, scrutinizing each one. Harley's smile shrunk a few teeth, then disappeared completely. The turkey lady stood up, a towering, vulture-like figure.

"Harley Marooyyyy..." she droned, glaring at Harley, who met her gaze evenly and cheerfully.

"Jade Mor... oh good lord, I'm not going to read all that," the teacher continued, stopping in front of Jade. Jade glared back at her, not liking her tone. The bird-lady pointed her meterstick at the two girls, tapping it lightly on their noses. Jade felt the need to kick her ass.

"I'll not have _delincuentes_ in my classroom. You two will have to fix your outfits, unless you recieve _permission speciale _from the councilor. No _armellose oberteile_, _no le fasce, i cappelli, gli occhiali da sole o le cuffie_, and no _telefones celulares_." The teacher grinned at the teenagers smugly. When the girls didn't respond, and someone coughed awkwardly in the back of the room, she heaved an exaggerated sigh.

"Very well. I'll translate. I'll not have-" Jade shot Harley a look, who nodded. Go for it. Jade took a step closer to the teacher. Spanish first.

"_Ninguna necesidad de tradicur. Comprendo dieciocho idiomas muy bien, inclusive estos_," Jade said over the teacher's nails-on-a-chalkboard voice. Dead silence. French next.

"_Je dois dire que je n'apprecie_ _pas suis parle pour aimer un idiot_." The teacher blinked, apparently never having been spoken to by someone like that, especially not in French. German.

"_Solliten wir uns vorstellen, oder werden Sie dass fur uns machen_?" Someone in the back made a burn noise, like oil on a skillet, and someone else made a toaster "DING!" noise. Jade doubted they understood. Italian.

"_Che marche lei presume che abbia l'idea non la piu leggara di cio che lei dice? Lei sottostima normalmente gli studenti_?" There was a collective "Ooooooo" from everyone in the room. The hawk-lady stuttered, and shuffled uneasily back to her desk, head in hand, waving the two girls along. Harley leaned towards Jade.

"_Que uma cadela_!" Harley hissed, making Jade snort, a vain attempt to hide her laughter. Harley grinned, arms spread wide, like a ringleader.

"Hola, y'all! I'm Harley Maroy! My friend and I just moved here from Jawja, the peach state, and-" Jade shoved her and her ridiculously accented voice away. They didn't talk like that. Not unless they were pissed or excited.

"Excuse my friend, she's lost her ever-lovin' mind," Jade said, smiling slightly, "I'm Jade, that's Harley, If you don't want two crazy chicks in your class, speak now or forever hold your peace. No takers? Awesome," Jade smiled, not waiting for an answer. She turned like a ballerina to face Hawk-lady.  
"Where do ya want us to sit?" she asked. Hawk-lady pointed a crooked finger in a general direction. Jade rolled her eyes and shifted her book bag, taking a seat towards the back of the class. Harley took one to her left, on the aisle. Harley yelped, a tiny squeak. Jade twisted around in her seat at the sound of her friend's gasp. She blinked. Several times. Her brain's voice (because all brains have voices, duh) was going "uhhhhh..." confused, obviously.

1. There was some wierd kid in a purple and green superhero suit all up in her bestie's face

2. He was talking to her, smiling, laughing

3. Behind him, a shorter, rounder kid in an orange and black suit was grinning as well, hopping up and down excitedly

4. Harley was talking to both of them. It seemed like her usual perky self, but Jade knew better. Harley was flirting with the tall kid. And he was after her like a dog after a steak.

Jade's mouth twitched, almost a smile, almost a grimace. She turned around slowly, whistling low. She took out her orange and black skull-and-crossbones journal, scribbling down a random bit of information in French.

_Regarder drole blague. Les fie? Avertit Harley? Probablement. Je manque la Georgie. Soi noter: la baisse donne un coup de pied des gosses fous s'ils effraient Harley._

This was followed by a sketch of Jade beating the snot out of the two figures behind her. Her fingers clenched her pencil tighter at Harley's high-pitched giggle.

"Idiots..." came a voice beside her. Jade flicked her head to the right, having not noticed anyone sitting beside her before. Hey, hey. British accent. SCORE. He was dressed normal... ish. Save the cape, he would have blended in perfectly. Well, that and the braces. But everyone had to go through that stuff, she guessed. His choice in sweaters was a little funny, too. Dark yellow and crimson horizontal stripes. Blue jeans, black converse. Jade grinned. Something she could relate to. Every other girl she had seen was all about the heels and flats, skirts and dresses, blouses and quarter-sleeves. It was about time she saw someone wearing her kind of shoes. Now that she thought about it, his sweater went along perfectly with his dark red hair.

"Who? My friend?" Jade asked, suspicion flaring up, blocking out her curiosity. Cute or not, mess with Harley, your ass is going down. The boy glared into an old book on his desk, sighing.

"...no... not your friend. The morons talking to her," Jade stole another glance. She bit the inside of her cheek. Well, they hadn't done anything to prove that they _weren't_ idiots. She decided to reserve judgement. Jade looked at the boy sitting beside her again, and was surprised to find him staring at her.

"What?" she asked, "Do I have something on my face?" She leaned away from him. He immediately stuck out a hand before she fell back. Jade had a mini heart attack as she was falling backwards, and only stayed steady thanks to the stranger.

"Thanks... dude," she said uncertainly. The boy turned back to his book.

"Kyle," he muttered.

"Jade. Morgana. Moonhaven. In that order," Jade said, feeling like a retard for saying her name as seperate sentences. Kyle looked up, blue eyes flashing.

"Moonhaven?" he inquired. Jade winced. Stupid obsession. Her mother's and father's stupid obsession over Wicca names. Thankfully, they had gotten over it. Unfortunately, it was not until after they had legally changed their names and Jade was born. Jade rolled her eyes, cheeks burning.

"Wicca crap..." she muttered. Kyle frowned.

"It's not crap, as you say. Morgana is a very proud name, and you should be proud to have it. As for Moonhaven, there have been worse." Jade blinked.

"I'm sorry. I... are you a Wiccan, or something?" Kyle sighed heavily, bookmarking his page in his book. Obviously this girl was not going to leave him alone any time soon.

"Wicca, no. Wizard, yes," Jade's eyebrows shot up into her bangs. Kyle rolled his steely blue eyes.

"Yes, yes. Enter sarcastic comment or disbelieving laughter here." He seemed to wait for her to make fun of him, but Jade did nothing of the sort. She stared at him eagerly.

"I'm so into magic, you wouldn't believe it. Could you do something? Please?" she added, subconciously batting her lashes as her chocolate brown eyes grew and sparkled. Harley called this Jade's "Fail-proof Flirty Face" though Jade had no idea it was true. Kyle swallowed nervously in spite of himself. Never before had anyone NOT laughed at him for saying he was a wizard, especially not a girl (SUPER especially not a pretty girl). Well, except for Fanboy and Chum Chum, but those bafoons were convinced they were Wizard-Ninja-Pirates. Jade continued begging him with her big brown eyes, and with a snap of his (slightly shaky) fingers, the old book he was reading disappeared in a puff of smoke. Jade stared in shock at the bare desk. Kyle was worried if she would run off, call the cops, scream. She only shook Kyle's arm eagerly, grinning from ear to ear.

"That was AMAZING! How did you do that? You know what, never mind, I'm too shocked and impressed to care right now," Jade opened up her journal again and scribbled down something Kyle couldn't see. It was at that time that Hawk-lady stood, bitchy self back to normal. She slapped her meterstick on her desk, demanding total silence. Jade slumped in her seat.

"Hateful heifer," she muttered under her breath. Kyle managed to keep his face straight. _and_ pretty? Had he gone crackers? Hawk-lady zeroed in on Jade.

"MOONHAVEN! Stand up and recite four poems from your favorite poets. You have sixty seconds," Jade stood up immediately, all eyes on her. Harley crossed her arms and grinned at her new friends, Fanboy and Chum Chum.

"Observe boys. My chica is a friggin' genious at pissin' teachers off," Jade held her hands in front of her like a professional choir singer.

_'Twas brillig and the slithy toves_

_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe_

_All mimsy were the borogoves_

_And the mome raths outgrabe_

_"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!_

_The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!_

_Beware the JubJub bird and shun_

_The frumious bandersnatch"_

_He took his vorpal sword in hand_

_Long time the manxome foe he sought_

_So rested he by the TumTum tree_

_And stood awhile in thought_

_And as in uffish thought he stood_

_The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame_

_Came whiffling through the Tulgey Wood_

_And burbled as it came!_

_One, two! One, two! And through and through_

_The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!_

_He left it dead and with its head_

_He went galumphing back_

_And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?_

_Come to my arms, my beamish boy!_

_Oh frabjous day! Calooh! Callay!_

_He chortled in his joy_

_'Twas brillig and the slithy toves_

_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe_

_All mimsy were the borogoves_

_And the mome raths outgrabe_

There was a smattering of applause as Jade launched into another one, Hawk-lady keeping an eye on her watch.

_Razors pain you_

_Rivers are damp_

_Acids stain you_

_Drugs cause cramp_

_Guns aren't lawful_

_Nooses give_

_Gas smells awful_

_You might as well live_

This earned several meaningful glances and a few whispers, one or two students making the "emo sign" by slicing their wrists with their fingers.

_Oh seek, my love, your newer way_

_I'll not be left in sorrow_

_So long as I have yesterday_

_Go TAKE your damned tomorrow!_

Jade had put emphasis on "take" startling Hawk-lady. Students applauded her bravery for using a swear word in class in front of the teacher. Jade's voice took on a sensual, sexy tone. Harley rolled her eyes.

"Oh boy, here she goes."

_By the time you swear you're his_

_Shivering and sighing_

_And he swears his love is_

_Infinite, undying_

_Lady, make a note of this:_

_One of you_

_Is lying_

There were some wolf whistles in the back of the room and more clapping as Jade bowed with five seconds to spare. Hawk-lady glared at her, as though she wished she had heat vision to roast the impudent little punk before her alive. Harley pumped her fist in the air.

"That's my bestie," she said. Jade sat back down, hands folded on her tabletop, face indifferent, staring at Hawk-lady as she scribbled something on the board. Kyle stared at the red-haired girl. There was no mistaking it. A part of his body told him he was definitely attracted to the southern belle, and he tried to get his heart rate under control as her last poem echoed in his head. Stupid teenage hormones. Stupid tight pants. He made a mental note: get emotions under control. Girls are distractions, and he couldn't afford those, not when he was so close to getting back into Milkweed. He looked again at Jade, only to find the girl less than five inches away from his face. She smiled, and Kyle's mental note went out the window.

"Hey Kyle. Do ya know any more magic?" Kyle nodded, smiling nervously, thinking of one of his best spells. There was one, but he couldn't show her, not in class, at any rate. Hawk-lady slapped her desk again. Jade closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, her sweet breath rolling over Kyle in waves. Stupid. Hormones. Jade cocked her head to the side, twisting in her seat to look at Hawk-lady. Kyle didn't like Hawk-lady, or Ms. Montgomery, as she was supposed to be called. She was still "the old bird" "Hawk-lady" and "Turkey Neck" to everyone else. Ms. Montgomery had effectively ruined his chance of acting smooth around Jade. Jade plastered a sardonic grin to her face.

"Yes'm?" she asked in a heavy drawl. Ms. Montgomery frowned, motioning to a math problem on the board.

"Solve. Now, little Miss Pants," Jade stood, shrugging at everyone in the room.

"Miss Pants?" she mouthed. She stood, hip to the side, finger to her chin, staring at the board. Then she scribbled a single number.

**7**

"Badabing, badaboom," she said, clacking the marker into the metal tray provided. Ms. Montgomery checked her paper.

"Sit down, Moonhaven," she muttered at the proud emo. Jade took her place next to Kyle. She looked at him.

"I'm feeling a little crazy right now. Got a spell that could crazy-fy this place?" Jade had an insane grin across her face. Kyle thought, eventually clapping his hands. The sprinkler system cut on, the fire alarm outside whined, and students clamored for the exits. Ms. Montgomery, rather than trying to maintain order, ran over Michael Johnson on her way out the door.

"Not cool, yo," he said, brushing his red leather pants off. Jade giggled, twirling in the falling water. Kyle, feeling spontaneous and a bit crazy himself, grabbed Jade's hand and hauled her out the first storey window, catching her bridal-style when she stumbled. Jade laughed, flashing him the "rock on" sign.

"You rock! Oh, man, today was so cool and you can totally put me down now..." Jade said in one breath, voice diminishing to a serious tone. Kyle blanched and nearly dropped her to the ground. Jade put her hands on her hips, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. Then she snorted, frown curling into a dazzling smile. She laughed, bending over.

"You totally believed me!" she giggled. She stood, wiping a tear away.

"Hey, you wanna catch a movie some time?" she asked. She stood, waiting for Kyle's answer.

"I... hardly know you..." he trailed off, kicking himself for not agreeing immediately. Jade cocked her head to the side, a sad frown on her face.

"Aw." She strolled closer to him, backing him into a wall. Oh dear, Kyle thought, Is this good or bad?

"You know, the whole point of going out is to get to know people better. I'm new here. You could show me the town." Jade knew she was laying on the flirt REALLY thick at the moment. But television had taught her well. Thank you, Degrassi. She walked her index and middle finger up Kyle's chest. Good, Kyle decided, Very, VERY good.

"You could always get to know me better," she said in a low voice. Gulp. She was close. So. Very. Close. Their noses were touching. She pulled back, dancing away. She stuck a sticky note to his sweater.

"Think about it, Wizard Boy. You know how to find me," Jade called over her shoulder, jogging away, catching up to Harley and heading home. Kyle stood in a shocked stupor. Was that a subliminal message? If so...

"What the hell do I do now?" he said to himself, plucking the note off of his shirt.

_**Jade Moonhaven= 577-8028**_

_**747 Northwest Trail**_

Kyle swallowed again. This could be a very interesting time. Jade was sending mixed messages. She had even put her home address. Was he ready, even for something as simple as a date? Hm, probably not. But wasn't the whole point of being a teenager trial and error?


	2. Chapter 2

Jade and Harley were hanging out at Harley's house, eating the Maroys out of house and home.

"Hey! I thought you had Cheez-Its?" Jade whined, looking at her friend around the door of a cupboard. Harley scoffed, grabbing a chocolate cupcake from the fridge. She also picked out an apple.

"We DID, ten minutes ago, Lil' Miss Hollow Leg," she said, glancing at her two snack options before putting the cupcake back. Jade frowned. Just as her friend was about to take a bite out of the apple, Jade popped a big chunk of cake in her mouth instead. Harley coughed, and chocolate cake was sent flying from her mouth. She wiped her face in a disgusted way.

"Jade, you bitch!" Harley spat. She ran to the sink and rinsed the chocolate taste out. Her shirt was covered in soggy brown cake, and her hair was a mess from the water she was trying to get in her mouth. She straightened up, trying to clean up the disaster with a towel.

"Note to self," she grumbled, "No matter how much you pray, gravity will never cut off, and water will never go upside down, and you will always make a bigger mess than you started by denying this fact." Jade snapped her fingers like she was at a Poetry Slam. Harley glared at her.

"You! You suck, you know that?" Harley snarled. Jade rolled her eyes, putting the discarded, sad-looking apple back in the fridge.

"'Waah, I'm covered in the most delicious substance known to man, poor me'," Jade teased Harley in a whiny voice.

"Chocolate's gross."

"Oh my FREAKING God, you did not just say that."

"Chocolate. Is. Nasty."

"You just called yourself nasty." Harley lunged at Jade, who barely evaded her and bolted for the front door. Harley threw chunks of cake at her, hitting her back and hair. They screamed, leaping over Harley's dog, Truffles, and jumping on furniture like ninjas. Truffles, a massive black Doberman, lifted his head briefly before gnawing on his rawhide again. His owner was a nut. And her friend was a short nut. Jade leapt off of the couch, skidding on the hall rug. Harley barreled after her, cake in her clenched fist. Jade threw the door open just as Harley slipped on the rug and slammed into her. They fell in a heap on the stone steps.

"Oww..." they moaned in unison. Jade blew a piece of black hair back into place, and that was when she noticed two pairs of shoes. One very large, and the other small.

"...Crap..." she said, pushing Harley off of her. Harley stood up, about to continue the onslaught, when she froze mid-fling.

"Uh... HEY, guys," she chuckled nervously, glancing between Fanboy and Chum Chum. They looked at the two girls, confused.

"Is this some kind of girl thing?" Chum Chum asked Fanboy.

"I don't know, buddy, but it involves cake, so it can't be too scary," Fanboy replied comfortingly. Harley quickly hid her wad of cake behind her back. Fanboy plucked some out of her hair instead.

"So... you like chocolate cake?" he asked, flipping the treat up in the air and catching it in his mouth. Harley glared murderously at Jade, who whistled "Dixie" innocently. Harley combed through her messy curls vigorously, getting her hands sticky.

"Uh... not really..." she said, ears turning a slight reddish color. Jade scraped some chocolate off of her shirt and flicked it to the ground.

"So, what brings y'all here to 'our' cozy asylum?" Jade asked, putting air-quotes around "our". Fanboy and Chum Chum grinned as though there were bananas stretching their lips.

"WE were just going to see if YOU wanted to come with US to pick up the most delectable frozen treat ever created in the history of frozen treats!" Fanboy nearly exploded with excitement, and Chum Chum was nearly drooling.

"Ice... cream?" Jade ventured. The boys laughed.

"Oh, silly girl... No," Fanboy said, wiping a tear away.

"Ice-cream's got nothing compared to the FFF special!" Chum Chum said, bouncing up and down.

"The what in the who now?" Jade asked. The boys sighed, and half-led, half-dragged the girls down the street.

"We have to go to the coolest place in town to get it, but it's so worth it!" Fanboy said eagerly, pulling Harley along.

"Get what?" she asked, dragging her feet.

"Wait, we have to GO somewhere?" Jade cried, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

"We look like we were hit by a pudding truck!" she exclaimed, gesturing to herself. Harley realized how terrible they actually looked just then, and became terribly self-conscious out in the open.

"Ohmygodohmygod," Jade said, backing into Harley's house, probably running to the shower.

"_Ah mi Dios_," Harley grumbled, running after her. She held up a finger, telling the boys to wait.

"_Uno momento_," she said, before slamming the door. 

It didn't take long for the girls to split up and head for the showers. It did take a while for them to wash, change, and primp. Gone was the chocolate from Jade's person, replaced with a cargo shorts, green hightops, camo tank top, dog tag combination, topped with an army green cadet cap, which made Jade feel just a little more badass after her embarrassing encounter.

"Soulja Boy, tell 'em..." she hummed to herself in the mirror as she applied her black eyeliner and a star sticker to her cheek, near the corner of her eye. Harley was not one for badass, and chose red. Red everywhere. A red blouse with long, droopy sleeves and a v-neck collar, a pair of scarlet short-shorts, red converse boots, red jewelry., and a red rose in her hair. Red made her happy. And hot. She grinned at herself in the mirror as she wound the last bit of hair around the curling iron. Was she really going through all this drama for some ice-cream thing? Harley looked at herself in the mirror, straight-faced. Yes, she decided.

They exploded out of the house, harmonizing in operatic tones, holding their hands up dramatically. Truffles whimpered behind them and slunk away, tail between his legs. Harley winced.

"I sawreez, babeh..." she apologized to the traumatized dog. She grabbed Fanboy's hand.

"Let's go already! Jeez, I thought you were in a hurry!" she giggled. Fanboy stumbled after her, grinning. Jade skipped behind them, spinning in circles randomly, as Chum Chum asked why it took the girls so long to get ready. No one responded. Know one knew, really.

"So this frozen treat... It's a got sugar, right?" Jade asked. Fanboy gave her a "duh" look.

"Well of COURSE!" Harley stumbled. She wrinkled her nose. Meanwhile, Jade was ecstatic.

"HALLELUJAH!" she shouted, hands raised. Harley smiled, though it looked more like a grimace. 

It didn't take long to walk to the so-called "coolest place in town". Harley and Jade paused outside the double doors of the building.

"It's... a convenience store..." Jade trailed off, eyebrow raised, unimpressed. Harley looked around in fascination at the gaudy ice-sickle decorations, giant snow monster on the roof, and unbearably bright neon lights. She squealed in delight at the bright colors. She dashed inside after Fanboy and Chum Chum, leaving Jade on the sidewalk. The dark-haired girl sighed dramatically, dropping her head to her chest. She didn't want to go in there. Shopping, any kind of shopping, never appealed to Jade. Plus, Harley, the only person she could really talk to, would be too busy flirting with Fanboy to keep Jade interested. She yanked off her cap and twirled it on her finger. It was chilly out, and yet Harley was wearing one of her 'WHABAM' outfits, and Jade was wearing shorts and a tank top. Was there something wrong with them? Jade shook her head: duh. At the sound of approaching footsteps, she peeked out from under her fringe. I recognize those Converse, she thought gleefully, spotting the red shoes coming her way. Jade straightened up immediately, turning around and leaning against the wall of the appropriately named "Frosty Mart". She pulled her cap down over her eyes, hiding. She smirked as Kyle walked by, his nose in that old book he had earlier, mumbling to himself. Jade matched his footsteps, tip-toeing behind him. When Kyle paused, seemingly concentrating on a particular passage, Jade leaned over him, stifling her laughter. He didn't seem to notice. So, Jade decided to, very ninja-like, alert him to her presence.

"YO! WIZ BOY!" she shouted, jumping back in time to avoid a flying book. Jade leapt into the air and caught it deftly in one hand.

"Dang, boy, this thing weighs a ton!" Jade muttered. Kyle snatched the book from her. Jade held her hands up in surrender.

"Easy, sugah, I wasn't gonna eat it."

"Well, you almost gave me a bloody heart attack! What are you doing out here, wearing that... that..." Kyle faltered. Truthfully, his brain had gone on autopilot. Words seemed superfluous. Jade's dark hair and multi-colored streaks contrasted with the prim and proper military design of her outfit. It was intriguing. So intriguing in fact, Kyle stared for quite a bit. Jade crossed her arms, popping a hip to the side, causing her dog tags to jingle cheerfully.

"Well-said, darlin'," she smirked, "I am showin' my support for the troops. Gotta problem with that, British Boy?" Jade asked, poking him playfully in the chest. Kyle shook his head rapidly. Jade grunted, nodding her head once, her mouth a grim slash. She seemed... angry? Then, her eyes sparkled, her lips trembled, and Jade laughed, pulling a two-fingered salute, her bangs covering one eye, head cocked coyly to the side.

"Care to join me for a drink, soldier?" she asked, turning around and walking jauntily inside without waiting for an answer. Kyle watched her go. In his hands, his Necronomicon tutted,

"You have REALLY gotten yourself into trouble now, my boy. What do you make of that odd attire?" the book asked. It was a very nosy book, and very perceptive. But, one didn't have to be insightful to see the look on Kyle's face. It helped that the book was struggling to free itself from Kyle's grasp to avoid any drool that may come from the wizard's gaping mouth. Kyle shook his head slowly.

"God bless the American soldier," he mumbled, following Jade into the store. 

"WOOO!" Jade shouted, surfing in a shopping cart being pushed by Harley, who purposely sped up, made sharp turns, and stopped abruptly in an attempt to unbalance Jade. The grinning girl could not be moved, and Harley laughed every time she failed to make Jade fall.

"Imma get you foh makin' me a fudgecicle!"

"You gon' try, anyways!"  
The girls zoomed by Fanboy and Chum Chum, who were busy filling plastic cups with blue and pink beverages of some sort. Kyle watched from afar, part in wonder, part with worry.

"Oh, I do hope she... Oh my! Jade...? Oh dear..." he fretted. Jade shot him a wink and a wave on her way by. To cheer him up she made faces. Kyle didn't feel much better. But her smile... He shook his head. Calm down! he chastised himself.

"_WE_ need... _SOME_ music..." Jade hollered as she passed the boys, voice receding as she sped away and came back.

"Oh yeah!" Chum Chum agreed happily. Fanboy scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"But where will we get said music...?" The two boys stood in silent contemplation, brows furrowed and fists under their chins. Harley made a u-turn around a corner, guessing at where she was going. With Jade blocking her view, Harley considered it a miracle she hadn't crashed yet. She cut another corner, nearly tipping the cart. However, Harley was blissfully unaware that she was headed right for Kyle. Jade gasped, Kyle froze, and Harley simply had no idea.

"HEY! Get out of that... That's not... _OUT_!" someone shouted. Harley squealed in surprise and put her heels to the ground, skidding to a stop. Jade, distracted by the angry voice, tumbled out of the basket with an "oof", landing directly on the teen wizard before her. It wasn't a particularly dramatic moment. Jade had caught her dark hair in Kyle's braces, and they spent a few seconds untangling themselves. What they were thinking at this particular moment is anyone's guess. For Jade, it most likely would have been: _Way to go, doofus! You screwed up in front of him! Wow... Buff under the sweater...  
_For Kyle it was more along the lines of: _She smells like apples. I love apples._ Jade jumped back up immediately afterward, ramrod straight, trying to look innocent, pulling Kyle up by his shirt.

"Out of what, sir?" she asked, voice small and meek. The slightly older man before her narrowed his eyes behind his rather prominent glasses. He waved a broom threateningly. He was a skinny fellow, though not unattractive, but at the moment he seemed too pissed off to make friends.

"You know what! That shopping cart!" Jade planted a foot on the cart in question and kicked it away.

"What cart?" Harley asked, just as airy as Jade. The man's eye twitched several times before he turned on his heel, grumbling, and marched back to the checkout counter. Fanboy whistled low.

"Wow. You brought up Lenny's stress twitch," he said, a hint of pride un his tone.

"Stress twitch?" Harley asked.

"Lenny?" Jade echoed, making a face. Chum Chum nodded.

"Lenny's the manager of the Frosty Mart. He's one of our best friends!" the younger boy said excitedly. Jade looked back at the man behind the counter. He was hunched over a magazine and seemed to be grumbling to himself, clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Oh... He seems... nice." she said uncertainly. Harley leaned over to Jade.

"He's just a little too _loco para mi sabor_..." the Hispanic whispered. Jade widened her eyes and pursed her lips, her "eeeeyup" look. Harley took a closer look at Jade.

"...The fuck happened to your hair?" she asked. She started combing through the black mess with her fingers. Jade turned pink, a becoming, though uncharacteristic, color.

"I crashed, remember?" Jade snapped. Harley laughed.

"Oh _yeah_... Now we're even, though."

"Loser." Jade mumbled.

"I love you." Harley gushed.

"Whatever."

"Bitch."

"Ho."

"Alright, NOW we be needin' some Kesha up in heyah!" Harley shouted. Jade took a long look at the amount of neon, lighting, and freezers. She looked over at Lenny, which was difficult, considering Harley was still messing with her hair.

"Hey, Mr. Cash Register Man?" Lenny didn't even glance up.

"What?" he droned, flipping idly through the magazine.

"If we jacked up my tunage to your fuse box using your Vegas chrome as a duracell and cranked up some jams, would you be pissed?" Harley, Kyle, Fanboy, Chum Chum, and Lenny all looked up and gave her funny looks.

"Do _what_ now?" Harley asked. Jade sighed.

"Can. I. Plug in. My iPod. To play. Music?" she said slowly.

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone?" Lenny asked, sounding tired.

"Totes Mcgotes." Lenny nodded, somewhat reluctantly. Kyle looked at Jade again.

"Were you trying to confuse the man?" he asked. Jade stared at him.

"Yes..." she said slowly.

"Jade manipulates people. It's what she does," Harley shrugged. Jade pinched her on the arm, earning a slap on the shoulder. Ignoring Harley's rather pathetic assault, Jade revealed her iPod from her pocket with a flourish, unplugging the headphones. She tapped Kyle on the arm.

"Help me find the fuse box," she said, typing in her password.

"Why?" Kyle asked. Jade began walking towards the back of the Frosty Mart, Kyle on her heels.

"I am going to sync up my iPod and power it using some of this crappy neon. The sound will come through those speakers there..." Jade explained, pointing, "There... and there." the two teenagers paused in front of a light blue door that read: Warning- Electrical system and wiring. Employees only.

"Uh huh!" Jade sighed triumphantly.

"How do you expect to get in?" Kyle asked, squinting at the keyhole above the doorknob. Jade pulled a paperclip out of her pocket. She caught Kyle's look.

"What? Only for emergencies!" she insisted before jimmying the lock. She pushed her way inside, around a large metallic box. It was dark inside, and Jade was forced to wait for her eyes to adjust. She gazed around her, lips pursed in concentration. Without a word, she crept about the room, avoiding lights and wires on the floor. She tsked.

"This place is ancient," Jade sniffed in disgust. Kyle sneezed in the dusty, dimly lit room. He pulled a handkerchief out of his jeans pocket.

"The store is quite new. Only three or four years old." Jade hummed, flicking her brown eyes everywhere. Suddenly she leapt, like a ballerina, to a gray, rectangular box on the wall. She smacked her teeth at yet another lock.

"Can't crack this one. Specialized key only," she groaned, stepping back so Kyle could see for himself. He barely spared it a glance.

"May I?" he asked, pulling his wand from his sleeve. Jade motioned to the fuse box in a grand fashion. Kyle made a few showy moves, cracking his knuckles and rolling his neck. He tapped the box once. At first, nothing happened. Then, the metal door flew off of its hinges, heading straight for Jade. She gasped and ducked. The door crashed into the wall behind her and clattered to the floor. Kyle winced. He rushed to Jade's side.

"I'm terribly sorry! Sometimes this stupid wand... It was an accident! Jade, you understand... I never meant to... Why are you laughing?" Kyle asked, helping Jade up by the hand. Jade was laughing as though she had heard the funniest joke on the planet. Joke? Kyle thought. She's laughing because I'm a joke... This sour thought deflated the teenaged wizard a bit, and for a moment he became as surly as ever.

"Calm down, sugar! You take things too seriously! It was funny as hell! I know you didn't mean to, I laughed, didn't I? Hey, you got it open at least!" Jade said through her gales. She kept laughing until she realized that they were holding hands, fingers locked, to be exact, after which she nearly choked on her own air. She jumped back, as though stung, and cleared her throat, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"Shall we?" she asked nervously, fishing a pair of pliers from her pocket.

"What else do you have in there?" Kyle asked, curious.

"Everything but the kitchen sink. And Waldo." Jade pulled out a few wires and twisted them together. Kyle noticed that three of these were labeled "N LGHT", which he supposed stood for "neon lighting", and the other wire was named "PWR SRCE", possibly for "power source". Jade then inserted the wires into her iPod and waited. After a bit, an icon appeared on the little screen. It was a picture of a very happy battery running in place. The word "syncing" was underneath it. The two teenagers stood in silence for a minute. In the dark. _Alone._ _Shut up, brain!_ Jade demanded. _Very bad_ _thoughts! Ooh, bad images!_ _Bad! No! Denied! Wait, what?_ _Is he saying something?_

"Heh?" Jade asked in a very unlady-like manner.

"I said, 'it's done syncing'," Kyle repeated, pointing at the iPod.

"Oh! Thanks." Jade scrolled through her music.

"Ah, what the hell?" she said, shrugging. She picked a song at random, and she hoped everyone could dance to it. She pushed Kyle out the door while the song loaded.

"YO! Har-lay!"

"What-ay?" came the other girl's voice from across the store.

"You can dance, right?"

"Does Sonny Perdue need a toupee?"

"More than a balloon needs air..." Jade whispered reverently, holding her hands together in prayer. 

_Come on, baby!__  
__Let's do the twist!__  
__Come on, baby!__  
__Let's do the twist!_

Harley's girly squeal could be heard over Chubby Checkers as she raced around the corner and grabbed Jade's hand. Jade was whipped around like a rag doll and twirled till she felt sick. Meanwhile, Harley was loving it. She was a natural-born dancer, and "the twist" is quite possibly the easiest dance ever, right after the Hokey Pokey. Fanboy was off to the side doing "the worm", and Chum Chum was pulling the oddest robot dance Jade had ever seen. Jade twisted beside Harley.

_Take me by my little hand!__  
__Everyone froze.__  
__And go like this! Eeeyooohh TWIST!_

Kyle hung back, glancing around. He gave Jade a nervous smile. The dark-haired girl frowned, grabbed his hand and spun him like a professional.

"Loosen up! You're wound tighter than chicken wire on a hay bale!" she scolded him. Kyle wasn't sure what to make of this odd statement. Jade grabbed his other hand and tried to make him dance. Kyle turned red and stood paralyzed, unmoving but for his swinging arms that Jade was manipulating, like a very sad puppet.

"Alright, you know what? I lead," Jade declared. She spun Kyle again, then dipped him.

"Come on, British Boy. I thought all Europeans could dance?" Jade teased. Kyle didn't respond. He was dizzy. The world was spinning... and apples... The smell of apples was everywhere...

"'EY? WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN HEYAH?"  
Jade dropped Kyle like a hot rock. The wizard scrambled up, brushing himself off, catching Jade's apologetic look. There was a very loud thudding sound from the front of the store. Thud. Thud. Thud. Chubby Checkers ended his song, and Harley paused. Fanboy and Chum Chum looked up, then at each other, and then ran behind a shelf, Fanboy grabbing Harley's hand and pulling her with them.

"Come on!" he hissed, "Hurry!" Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Oh... sheep shins..." Kyle mumbled, pushing Jade towards the shelf. The girl dug her heels into the tiles.

"Now wait a minute!" she said, crossing her arms. Thud. Thud. Thud.

"Jade, now really isn't a good time for girly mood swings..." Fanboy advised quietly. His eyes were shifty and he was twitching nervously.

"Why?"

"'EY! This ain't no party!" Jade wheeled. Before her, there was a large... something... that blocked out the light creeping in from the windows. It looked almost human, if not for the gorilla sized hands, square-shaped head, and... incredibly tiny feet? But what did Jade care about his feet? The rest of him was big enough to smush her. She felt Kyle tug on her elbow.

"It's Boog..." he hissed out of the corner of his mouth. Jade snorted, a very unladylike attempt at hiding her laughter. She covered her mouth and bit one of her fingers, trying to stifle the noise. The man-beast known as Boog glared down at Kyle.

"What'd you say? You laughin' at me, kid?" the bully demanded. He plucked Kyle off the ground like a rag doll and shook him. Jade bared her teeth.

"Hey! Put him down!" Boog glanced at her.

"A'ight." He pushed Kyle away, flinging the boy across the room and into a snack shelf. He lay moaning on the floor, his head wobbling dizzily. Jade gasped. She whirled on Boog, staring up at him.

"Kyle wasn't laughing! I was, dumbass!" she shouted. Boog laughed an annoyingly loud guffaw.

"I ain't above hittin' no girl," he warned, wiping away a fake tear. Jade cracked her knuckles.

"I ain't above hittin' no monkey," she shot back. Boog loomed over her, grinning at her. He patted her on the head roughly, as though she were a dog.

"Whatcha gon' do, shorty? Gon' climb a ladder and bop me in the nose? Huh, girly?" Jade took one step closer, staring straight up at the blocky blonde.

"No..." she said slowly, shaking her head, "You're gonna come down here." And with that, Jade swung her foot straight up in the air. Needless to say, Boog was less impressive doubled over with tears streaming down his red face. Jade held her hand level over her head and compared it to Boog.

"See? Now we're the same height." Jade rotated her wrist and pulled her arm back. Two hands held her back, halting her inevitable punch to Boog's trembling lips.

"Easy, _chica_! He's had enough!" Harley said quietly. She spun Jade and pushed her away.

"Go. Help your boy out," the taller girl ordered, hiding a smirk. He's not my boy, Jade thought venomously as she walked over to Kyle. She bit her lip as she took in the sight.

"Jeez-o-petes, darlin', you look pretty roughed up. You okay? And by that I mean, can you see straight?" Jade questioned, sitting beside Kyle and pushing bags of chips and cookies away from him. Kyle looked up at her woozily, his eyes unfocused.

"Hello. My head hurts," he said sleepily. Jade winced.

"Kyle... Kyle, can you hear me, sugar? How many fingers? Who was our first president? Oh, wait, you're British. Um... Well, you should know that, right? You know Washington? Or is it a sore subject? It shouldn't be. It was over two hundred- fifty years ago..." Jade rambled when she was nervous, and Kyle's unresponsive behavior was taking a toll on her nerves.

"My head hurts," Kyle said again. He managed a slow, drowsy grin.

"You're pretty... My head hurts... Why do you look so scared, pretty lady? Don't be scared. Your eyes don't sparkle when you're scared... I like your outfit... It's my favorite... My head hurts..." Jade's eyes widened and she blinked.

"... Oh, Harley..." Jade called in a singsong voice. The dark-haired girl jumped up and ran to her friend, who was busy drawing on Boog's face with Sharpies, along with Fanboy and Chum Chum.

"Little maid, pretty maid... Whither goest thou?" Kyle sighed dreamily. Jade gulped.

"Harley..." Jade whispered. Harley looked over her shoulder.

"Yes, my little ass-kicking emo?" Jade pointed over her shoulder at Kyle, who was humming and looking everywhere. Jade explained what she had heard Kyle say. Jade was sure he had suffered a concussion of some sort. Harley stuck out her lip in disbelief.

"Nuh uh..." she droned, standing up and brushing the dirt off her shorts. She skipped over to Kyle and poked him in the arm.

"'Sup, _chico_. What do you think of Jade, again?" Kyle's eyes gained a touch of clarity.

"But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever," the wizard answered simply. Harley sat back.

"Damn, that was poetic."

"My head hurts."


End file.
